These usages are not arranged alphabetically, but all  involve comparisons using either "like" or "as."  I gather these well aware the some things are "not a patch" on other things, i.e., that they do not bear comparison. Fuller information about some of these usages is on the main list.  There are twenty-six files there.  Just click on to the appropriate letter.

running around like a blue-arsed fly, in and out like a blue arse fly

in and out, like a fart in a collander, or up and down, like a fart in a bottle

He's up and down, like a prostitute's pants

Ee's gorran ed as big as Berkened

Ee's as queer as a nine-bob note

Ee lewks like de unchback a Knotty Ash

She gorra mouf like a parish oven

Yer gorrup like a pox-docter's clerk

Ee's as queer as a clockwerk oringe

Ee'll never be as good as Dixie

I'm spittin like a Flemish commedjun

Me gob's(mouth) like de bottom uv a berdcage

My nose is runnin like a glassblower's arse

Lushed as the landlord's cat

as daft as soft Mick

as relaxed as a cow-flop

Yer as awkward as yer 'alf-daft Da

bald as a melling

blind as a one-legged ref

buggers about like a fartna bottle

got nuts like cobbles(cobblestones)

Cold as a nun's bum

decked up like a bloody May-horse

as worn out as a donkeystone(stone used for cleaning steps, etc.)

dun up like a fo'penny rabbit

'e guv 'er a ring wit' dymins like heggs

`e come out like a busted boil

got a face like a dollop of mortal sins

got a gob like a bee's bum

got a neck like a mad giraffe

grizzle like an oven-tap

'appy as a dog wit' two dicks

like two apples in a bag: a woman with a lovely rump

mad as Barney's bull

As mad as a Mick in ther nick(jail)

don't stand there like one er Lewis's( a store mannikin)

piss along like a green goddess(city tram), to

E's randy like a butcher's dog

she guv 'im hell, like Red Hot John
(reference to a famous Salvation Army Preacher)

as ard as a breathless tally-man

totterin' along like a hen wit' ther staggers

went out like a bleed'n' light

She's gorra face like an ole manz knee

She's gorra pursnality like a nopen grave

That wons like a bleedin' `orse

Shez got legs like knotty pine

Slike a mop 'angin' over dthe bannisters(said of a woman's untidy hair)

Eez gorra backonim like a ware'ouse rat

Nossuprised ee kicked dthe buckit, used to eat like a shithouse wrat!

Eez gorra pursnality lyka lumpa dogshit

All of em had faces like a baboon's arse with ringworm.

He is as fat as mud.

I was about as popular as a bacon buttie at a Bar Mitzvah

I wuz pissed as a newt.

You look like a busted couch.

Thick(stupid) as two bluddy short planks youse arn yiz!

He's as thick(stupid) as two short poodles.

Of a woman's chest: flat as piss on a plate.

Of a person with a large lower lip:He has a lip like a camel eating toast.

Yer won't need any ammers tho, cos yer mush(face) lewks like a bag of em.

They are as daft as Bleedin brushes.

You're as thick as pigshit and twice as nasty.

This went through like shit through a goose.

Mad as a bitten snake

E's gorra gob as big as the Mersey Tunnel:  a case of walking noise; never shuts up.

Thick as wheels

As daft as a flemin brush

Ee's gorr'ears like gas taps.

As late as British Mail

Sick as a parrot

old as dirt

eyes like pee-holes in snow

got piles like seaweed

as much at home in a lascar rope(cheap, sinister lodging house) as a child or rich folk might have been in a nursery.

a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp

looks like he's been dragged through a hedge backwards

hung like a Dock Road Horse: a very well endowed man.

smokes like a Vauxhall Road chimley: needs to cut down

looked like a drowned channel pheasant: totally dishevelled.

gets off like a ferret up a drain pipe: leaves very suddenly.

whipped smartly back, like a ferret up a trouser leg: made a dazzlingly fast move.

like a Sumo wrestler dancing on eggshells: the overweight at footee

got the eyesight of a boghouse rat: doesn't miss much, damn it!

As thick as two short planks: denser than thou

sticks like shite to a blanket: not easily gotten rid of

carrying on like dogs' dinners: having a hell-raising time

dressed up like a dog's dinner: jacket and tie, if you don't mind!

tight as a duck's arse: a real penny-pincher

got a gob like an arab's flip flop: I am very thirsty

as happy as Harry

sounds like a pig in pain( a child's music lesson)

So my mate heads out fast, like shit off a shovel

Teaching these kids is like shovelling smoke with a billiard cue

As busy as Beck's Wife, to be

As black as Toby's arse

As common as muck

Hard as the hobs of hell

My jaw wobbled like a ferry's fender